This Guy

This is who I want (except it'll be tea instead of coffee). I copied the full text in case the article goes away someday, but here's the link, too: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/you-already-know-him/

You Already Know Him

FEB. 10, 2013 

By STEPHANIE WHITE

He’ll drink slowly and smoothly and out of a mug. It’ll be early and he’ll like the morning. He’ll make extra and he’ll grind and scoop and pour and repeat. It’ll be hot and dark and he’ll let you have the first sip. He’ll leave some room and sit in the hour with you because he’ll know it’s your favorite thing. He won’t want it to end and neither will you and so you won’t remind him.

He’ll like the cold. He’ll like to share his fingers and toes with yours because they’ll be warmer no matter how hard you try and so you’ll let him. And then you’ll find the snow together and he’ll be there when it melts and when it arrives again. He’ll pause, he’ll wait and he’ll watch it fall. You’ll tuck your arm over and into his and then you’ll forget that the icy grounds and winds and skies are your perimeter.

He’ll be patient and he’ll listen and he’ll look forward to the sound of your voice. He’ll remember the edges of your smallest conversations and he’ll save them in a safe spot just in case. He’ll interrupt the quiet when it’s time to take turns and the seams will be hidden underneath and they’ll never show. You’ll look forward to the sentences he threads together. He’ll lace them up and they’ll be gentle and strong and like him. And he won’t know how good he is.

He’ll like to run. He’ll leave for minutes and hours and down long empty roads. He’ll come back though. His strides will reach further than yours. He’ll be faster and his speed will keep you going. You’ll move together and forward and for yourselves and for each other. His feet will touch the pavement and then they’ll float and the pattern will pace you. He’ll keep moving and you will too and it will be so beautiful and you won’t want to slow down.

He’ll fall asleep early and with his dog-eared book buried in the sheets you share. His eyes will scan and you’ll read his face and the walls and then the silent seconds will overflow the room. He’ll read the pages that chase each other to the end and you’ll meet him there. And then he’ll breathe and you won’t mind the noise and the ins and outs will reach the tips of your shoulders. You’ll fall asleep to the rhythm he sets and when you wake up, it’ll be right where you left it and he’ll be there too and it won’t be a dream. 

Not Sure How to Feel

Just met an 89 year old man at Central Market who went to F&M in 1941. Also found out my grandma has lung cancer. I don't really know how to feel right now? I'm sad and scared for her, and also weirdly envious of this older man who can still walk around by himself and make conversation with some college girls on a Friday morning.

Late February Challenge?

I think I need to give up chocolate for a significant period of time.

I feel like I eat relatively healthy otherwise, but I literally can't control myself when it comes to chocolate. I ate so many M&M's at the Writing Center last night, and I still feel crappy because of it.

So I'm considering trying to go chocolate free for the rest of February. Every time I want chocolate, I can write in my journal or on this blog. Or drink tea. Or chew gum (which is an addiction I can deal with later). But honestly, I feel like that change would make a HUGE difference for me. I'm good at self-control for everything else.

Maybe I could give up all chocolate unless it's more than 70% dark chocolate. That's hard to binge on because it's so bitter (but still good). That might be more doable.

I'll have to read this again this afternoon and decide if it's worth it. I mean, I know it would be worth it, but do I actually have the motivation to do it? That's the big question.

Fair Trade Cafe

I went to Fair Trade Cafe for the first time ever today. It reminded me of one of my 30 before 30 goals (which is really like 5 before 30 right now). I want to learn more about eating locally and how to eat/purchase food locally. I didn't take enough advantage of Central Market, so I'm hoping I'll live near a market in Boston next year. I know it'll be healthier for me, and one of the Junto papers last time really got e thinking about how important it is for everyone.

Short post, but I'm trying to keep up!

41 New Sisters

My last recruitment is officially over. I missed a post yesterday because of the craziness that is recruitment, but I feel OK about it.

There's a lot of drama building already about the recruitment process, but the bottom line is that we did get 41 girls, many of whom are already awesome, and all who have lots of potential. I'm excited to get to know them.

This Bid Day was not has pure happiness as last year. There were a few girls who I REALLY wanted that went elsewhere. But they did what they thought was best for them, and I have to respect that.

The last 4 days have been exhausting, but they did make me remember why I love Kappa Delta. If I didn't, I wouldn't care so much about the girls we got and the ones we didn't. I got to read a testimonial that I felt was honest, and people loved it. I wallpapered Booth Ferris like nobody's business.

So overall, a success. Bittersweet for many reasons. It is my last one. I know next year I will be looking at Facebook pictures, probably with some envy.

Back to real life tomorrow!

#lovemyletters

We are in the middle of sorority recruitment at F&M right now, and I am exhausted. One night down, two to go. It's easy for me to hate being in a sorority during this week. I am not a recruitment girl. I don't like the frills and the decisions and the inherent judgement.

But I Kappa Delta headquarters posted on its Twitter today that February is the month of love, encouraging all sisters to remember why we love Kappa Delta. So here is my list of reasons I #lovemyletters

~ Chanting after the last party on a recruitment night
~ Rachel getting me an iced tea before Informal Recruitment, telling me she was buying me something whether I said I wanted it or not
~ Throwing what we know
~ Sha la la
~ My friends who like to laugh at the absurdities of sorority life with me
~ Being proud of the changes our chapter has made in 3 short years
~ They gave me confidence
~ They completely changed my experience at F&M. I can trace most of my best decisions back to the day I accepted my bid.
~ Being on council is an experience I will never forget
~ I wouldn't have been friends with a lot of these girls if it weren't for Kappa Delta
~ I'm closer with the friends I had already because we have KD in common
~ BID DAY!!!

So countdown to one of my favorite days of the year is at 2. Two days until Bid Day, until my last recruitment ever is over, and until the day I can welcome the last new group of sisters that I will ever really know. Weird, but awesome.

Goals Update

I'm going to update my goals from over 7 months ago to see where I stand, which ones I need to drop, which ones I want to add, and what things I have accomplished.

1. Get accepted to Teach For America
I did get accepted to teach high school chemisty in Memphis, but I got an offer from a great charter school in Boston at the same time. The pull of going home, teaching something I wanted to teach, and learning how to teach for a year was enough to help me decide that Teach For America was not for me. Still love the program, and still proud of myself for getting accepted. But I know the position I chose will prepare me to be the best possible teacher. And it'll be nice to be in Boston!

2. Pull off an Education Week that everyone on campus knows about and most people attend
We pulled off Education Week. It was definitely a success, but not quite as large as I had hoped for. I hope we laid the groundwork so that it becomes a yearly event.

3. Finish the Philadelphia Marathon
Chronic shin splints prevented this one. BUT I did run a relatively successful cross country season, and I have my eyes set on a marathon in Vermont in May. I'm just starting the training, and if I'm feeling good by the end of February, I will sign up!

4. Win the Williamson Medal
This would be great, obviously. But I'm starting to realize that it probably won't happen.

5. Graduate 1st in my class
Still hoping for this. Even with Stat.

6. Get honors on my thesis from the American Studies department
Ugh. My thesis. I'm writing about the images of teachers portrayed in popular films and NCLB. Or about what the two products are asking us to 'buy' about education. I'm hopelessly behind.

7. Write an education op-ed
Haven't done it yet. Although I did write my Junto paper about school segregation, but that's about the closest I've gotten.

8. Write more consistently in a journal
Fail. I'm trying to use this as a quasi-journal too. And I carry it with me. I just haven't been writing.

9. Find closure in my relationship/non-relationship with my high school boyfriend
Eh.

10. Use my Marshall grant to go abroad
CHECK! Went to Ghana!

11. Feel good about my eating and exercise habits
Constant battle.

12. Thank everyone who deserves to be thanked for making my time at F&M what it is/was
I have a list going.

13. Write memoir like entries of my time at F&M
Nope.

14. Graduate sad but excited
Yesterday marked 100 days until graduation, and I definitely feel both.

15. Learn more about mom and dad
Hasn't really happened yet. Not sure how to go about it without being awkward.

16. Form opinions about education that I am proud to stand behind
I'm getting there. I'm proud of myself for how much I'm learning.

17. Plan a trip with mom
Might not happen anytime soon. I need to save money.

18. Go to First Friday
I still haven't done this! And I can't go tomorrow because it's recruitment, so I'll have to make an effort in March.

19. Buy a really great pair of jeans
I have a couple OK pairs of jeans. And a cool pair of green leggings that I love.

So overall, not doing terribly. Things to add:

20. Finish my 30 before 30 list
21. Write down the most important moments/decisions from college
22. Shop at Central Market more
23. Figure out where I'm going to live in the fall
24. Write at least one post a day!